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“Alyssa,”

“Yes, sis?”

“I have some questions…about Ralph. Okay lang?” I asked. I was lying on my stomach. Nagbabasa ako ng magazine habang nagsusuklay si Alyssa sa harapan ng salamin.

“Yes, sis… why? You still can’t remember anything about him?”

“Hindi e…”

Hindi ko na alam kung ano ang papaniwalaan ko.

“Hmm, hindi naman nakakagulat. Lahat kasi ng kasama natin nang naaksidente tayo ay nakalimutan mo except mom.”

“So that means Ralph…” so was he telling the truth about him being ‘Ron’? “…he was there? Anong ginagawa niya doon?”

“Kababata natin siya…”

“I thought he was Mang Rene’s son?” humilata ako as kama. Hindi ko muna iniisip yung tungkol sa amin ni Ralph. I want to know everything before confronting him.

“Uh, no? He just said that para maging malapit siya sa’yo. Close na close siya sa’yo dati. Para kayong magbestfriend. Pinagseselosan pa nga kita dati ate.” She laughed.

“Anyway, he was the son of dad’s kumpare. Nasa states din ang family niya. Actually, lahat ng kasama sa aksidente, sabay-sabay na lumabas ng bansa – ako and Ralph’s family papuntang states; kuya Barron and his mom sa Canada.”

“What? Pati si Barron kasama?”

“Yes, he was the one BESIDE you when the accident happened. Hmmm. He called me a month ago. He told me naalala mo na daw na siya si Ron.. but then binawi mo, you said you already know who the ‘real’ Ron is. Sino bang naisip mo, sis? Kuya Barron was your childhood sweetheart, while mine is Ralph. You know what’s funny? Parehas na parehas sila ng color ng eyes at parehas din sila ng nickname – RON. Then, tayong dalawa naman, parehas ng shape ng mukha at parehas din ng nickname –  AL. Kaya nga tuwang-tuwa ang mga matatanda sa ating apat dati. We’re like 2 loveteams.” She laughed.

“I don’t know if you already remember but… gumawa tayo ng bracelet na magkaparehong magkapareho. May 3 beads yun e. R-O-N. Ralph still has that bracelet while kuya Barron lost his during the accident. Teka, hindi kaya si Ralph ang iniisip mong Ron?” she teased… “Mag-aaway tayo niyan.”

“Haha, of course not… Hindi ko nga alam na Ron ang nickname niya dati.” I lied.

Ralph lied.

“…teka, If Barron was beside me… saan naka-upo si Ralph?”

“…sa likuran.. kasama ang mommy niya – si Tita Gretchen.” Tumabi siya sa akin sa ibabaw ng kama ko. Parehas na kaming nakahiga. “…more questions?”

“Yes, bakit umuwi si Ralph dito sa Pilipinas? Nakikita ko na siya sa school when I was 2^nd year high school.”

“Ahh, may improvement ka na kasi… You know Mang Rene, right? Siya yung driver natin dati nung naaksidente tayo. Then, 2 years ago, because of your… sorry for the term sis, ‘bitchiness’, dad hired him again for you… wala ka naman daw violent reaction at siya pa ang nakasundo mong driver. So ayun, Ralph insisted that he’ll go back here in the Philippines. Titingnan niya kung maaalala mo siya.”

“…If he was here, paano naging kayo?”

Medyo napatingin sa akin nang matagal ang sister ko. Siguro, nabigla kung bakit ko natanong yun.

“…every break bumabalik siya sa States to visit me.”

“I see… Alyssa, I know, kailangan pa nating mag-adjust sa isa’t-isa. 5 years was a long time. Madami nang nagbago…pero ako pa rin ang big sister mo. I’m so happy that I remember you now. I’m so happy to have you back. And as your sister, I don’t want you to get hurt… Pinakilala mo na sa akin ang first boyfriend mo… na kababata natin… that’s good. At least, we already know his family background… But then… But still… as long as I can, I don’t want to see you cry because of someone unworthy..”

“Sis, Ralph won’t do that to me…he won’t make me cry.” pag-angal niya. “I love him since forever! He’s my first love. Ohh, don’t tell me you don’t like him for me? Bakit? Anong ginawa niya sa’yo dito sa Pilipinas? Naweirduhan ka ba sa kanya?”

“No, that’s not it, Al…” It’s really hard to explain. How can I tell to my sister that his first love cheated on her. Worse, I was the other girl.

“Last question, may nangyari na ba sa inyo?” tiningnan ko ang kapatid ko.

“Ate naman… this is awkward.”

Namula siya.

“Alyssa… be honest with me.” nakatingin pa rin ako sa kanya. Kahit ako kinakabahan sa isasagot ng kapatid ko. Hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko kay Ralph kung –

“Yes, ate…” my sister looked away. “…summer vacation niyo dito sa Philippines. We did it before he went back here. Once lang naman.”

“Alyssa!” hindi ko alam kung anong nararamdaman ko. Am I angry? Am I jealous? “That guy….”

“Ate… teka, don’t blame him.. it was my fault.. and I really love him. I was the one who made the move..”

“But still! You…. AHHHH!” napaupo ako sa kama. “You were just… 15! That bastard!”

Sobrang galit ko talaga.

“Ateee! Calm down!  Relax…”

“How can you f*cking tell me to relax?!”

“Let me ask you sis… How old were you when you lost your virginity?” she asked.

“I was 15!” Natulala ako.. “…I was…15… too?”

“See..” natawa ang kapatid ko.

Shit.. ang bata ko din pala nung binigay ko yun… Kaasar.

“..I was about to turn 16 when I did it! And you, when you did it with Ralph, you just turned 15!” dagdag ko…

“…doesn’t matter, sis… You were still 15 that time… so parehas lang.” My sister smirked.. She knew she won. Well, she’s right…

“Ah, basta, Alyssa… I still… don’t like him… for you.”

“Haha… sige, sis.. sabi mo e… I’ll make sure you’ll see his good side..”

I closed my eyes…

“Let’s sleep na.” I sighed. Hindi ako pwedeng umiyak nang nandito ang kapatid ko.

Alyssa turned the lights off.

“Good night sis!”

Al, I already know Ralph… I already know why you fell in love with him… The thing is that, you need to know about his bad side, too… How can I tell that to you?

Why do things like this always happen to me? Everytime I open my heart to someone, it always end up like this – 3^rd party. But it keeps getting worse.. Dati, pinsan lang.. Ngayon, sarili ng kapatid. What’s next? Maybe, I should not love anyone at all.